07/08/14
The music in my heart is varied and beautiful. I hear the soundtrack to my hectic life throughout the day and my mostly forgotten dreams play out to tunes and melodies as yet unheard by conscious ears. Music accompanies my heartbeat.
Thump Thump Thump Thump
I remember Ethel having me program in the songs she liked from the Billy Joel double disc. She didn’t like the songs about drinking like “Captain Jack” but loved the songs about beating the odds, coming out ahead. She loved the positive songs, songs with a message of hope.
Ethel loved music and there are songs that call her memory back to my mind’s eye. One day I came home from ninth grade and she was vacuuming the living room carpet in a hand-me-down Rat t-shirt. The rat on the front had an evil leer and thick bald tail. I was amused and remember shaking my head; Ethel would wear anything that came in the Goodwill bags to be donated from family and friends. She was not discriminatory as to what she would wear when cleaning the house. Causing further cognitive dissonance for me, she was singing ”Stand” by REM, poorly. I got such a kick out of that woman.
“Stand, stand! Stand, stand! *off tune humming* Stand, stand, stand!”
Ethel loved “Friday I’m in Love” by The Cure, an upbeat, positive song that she would have me play over and over. She hated the song “Witchcraft” by Book of Love. She once broke the tape player while I was playing against her protest. She didn’t really “break” it. She pushed some button that caused the radio to play even when the tape was pushed in. Ethel was careful of the musical messages she would allow in her mind and urge me to do the same.
Music is powerful and my dad was fearful of it when we lived in Germany. We went to a very letter-of-the-law church and the pastor, a fearsome ex-Navy man, with anchor tattoos on each forearm, would preach against the demons which lived in the music. I remember dad pulling the streaming tape from the cassette. I remember being frightened of the the exposed demons which had been living in Alan’s Michael Jackson Bad album. The idea was that you had to burn the tape or the demons would stay in the room where they had been loosed. Thank goodness we had a fireplace in our apartment on base housing.
Music has always connected me to my nieces. Jaci would demand the “Honk Honk Beep Beep” song several times each time I would see her. She would also keep the song going verse after verse by hollering out the chorus. She never wanted the song to end. Now, at fifteen, she tells me about her newest indie-rock discovery and doesn’t ask me to sing anymore.
Celina, still eleven for a few more months, and I appreciate Disney songs. We listen to them on road trips. We sing them together. Our favorite song to sing is “Almost There” from The Frog and The Princess. Tiana is our favorite princess and we cheer each time she wins in the end. Celina and I are bonded over music. This morning, while she was watching me put on my make-up, we sang The Parent Trap theme song. I am hoping against hope that our shared musical interest will not suffer and die as she grows up.
“There's been trials and tribulations
You know I've had my share
But I've climbed the mountain, I've crossed the river
And I'm almost there, I'm almost there
I'm almost there!”
Music makes my world go round. I don’t like to be in a quiet room when there could be music playing. I usually listen to Hawaiian music; because I am Hawaiian at heart. When I am writing a paper or reading a graduate school article, I have to choose between Lindsey Stirling or classical music. The most important thing is to have music running through my mind at all times. I play music while I cook; I think it adds flavor to my dishes. I play music while I clean; I think it adds sparkle to my home. Music makes the world go round and lives in my heart.